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Hi Everyone,

I'm a PhD student at the University of Rochester. I'm running an online study of the different sexual activities that couples who are either dating or married enjoy. If you're in a relationship, either dating, engaged, or married, I'd like to invite you and your partner to participate.
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My hubby as you all know is 6 yrs older than me. Yesterday he told me that he is both emotionally and mentally ready for kids. The only thing he is waiting for is for us to be more financially stable and for me to be ready. So for me being 23 I heard that and went "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". I had always seen myself waiting until I was about 27 to have kids so by that count I still have 3 and a half years before I want to start a family. Rob's already 29 so of course he's ready. I just am not. I am scared. Children annoy me mostly. I mean I have been a daycare provider/nanny for almost 10 years and I do love it, but I get to go home at night. I do want to have kids I just want to enjoy marriage for awhile. I like my office and my alone time and my hubby time. I like putting work first for the most part. I actually love my job, I also want to finish college so I will be able to work in my field which is of course limnology (biology and chemistry of lakes and streams).
Then again I can't help picturing my office turned into a nursery. A crib with a canopy over it. I can't help seeing a rocking chair in here, a sleeping infant, a tired but happy me rocking her. I just know I have time to make that dream come true. I know way too many of my friends who had kids before 22 and they all say the same thing, that they don't really KNOW their husbands as anything but a father and they wish they had waited a bit more before diving into motherhood.
Is it really so bad to know I am not ready.
Hey guys. I have noticed lately that we have a bunch of new members. That's awesome. Welcome. I also have noticed this community has gone a little stale so I thought I would start a discussion maybe. I originally began this community as a place where we could kind of let our opinions on family be known as opposed to the people who think having children is horrible and call people like us "breeders". Then yesterday I was watching a show and that term was used again. They portrayed the American Family as this, a yocal hillbilly dad wearing a nascar cap and chewing tobacco next to a half drunk mom wearing curlers and smoking surrounded by four very dirty and ill kept fat blubbery kids. Then the people called them "breeders". Now I realize that this sort of family does happen... and living in the "deep north" as I like to call it, I see more than my fair share of these types of families, but to say it is the American standard? I really don't think so. It is a gross stereotype of epic proportions. Most low income families are strong and loving and put their children first.
So what do you guys think? Do you agree that the American family has become something distasteful?
Where did you meet?: The first time we met was at a dance at my high school. I was 16 he was 21. He came with a mutual friend and we danced together all night. The next time we went to the movies together in a big group of people (my best friend and his best friend liked each other) when we were both engaged to other people. I was 20 he was 25. Then we met again a year later after our best friends finally started dating. I was 21 he was 26. The funniest thing is it took a few days before we realized we had met before.

Were you friends first?: No, not unless you count the 6 years between our first meeting and our last.

How long did you date?: We dated for exactly 1 year before he proposed. We were engaged for 9 months, and we have been married for almost 4 months.

How long have you been married?: just under 4 months. It will be four months on Dec 5th.

When is your anniversary?:
Dating anniversary... Oct. 24th 2004 / Married Anniversary August 5th 2006

Was it love at first sight?: Actually yes. I liked him soooo much when we first met when I was 16. He was my first real crush. When we started dating 6 years later we fell in love almost instantly. We knew very early on that we'd be together forever.

Who asked who on the 1st date?: Well...he pursued me, but I think my best friend Kate set up the first date..she asked us both to come shopping with her and her boyfriend. I asked him out after that and then he asked me out on our third date. We started dating officially after that.

How was the 1st kiss?: Earth shattering. We said I love you after our first kiss.

How was the first um, 'meeting of the souls'?: Honorable. I know that might sound weird but it was. I had only had one serious boyfriend before him (my ex fiance). When me and my ex had sex for the first time we were both virgins and I wouldn't say it was rape...but I wasn't ready for it and he didn't ask me if I wanted it and I was too confused and scared to really say no...so long story short I lost my virginity.  Being a strong Christian I was told that I then had to marry my ex (then boyfriend) because we had had sex. When he dumped me a few months later I was sure I was going to hell and no man would ever want me again. When me and my husband started dating, he told me he loved me and that he would wait until marriage if that was what i wanted. He made it clear he would never push me into anything and that he wanted to show me that I was very loved and he would never hurt me like my ex had or take advantage of me. It was my decision to make love for the first time and he made sure it was what I really really wanted. I felt very loved.

How long before he said the "L" word?: 1 1/2 weeks? It was right after our first kiss.

Did you wait til your wedding night?: lol...no but our wedding night was still wonderful.

Do you still kiss (Enjoy it?): He can make me almost collapse just from kissing me. My knees give out.

Do you still do the deed?:  Yes of course

Do you LOVE your in-laws?: I do. I wish I knew them better.. but in time I know I will.

Does he love yours?: Ummmmm I don't even love my parents...so no! They weren't invited to our wedding and honestly I know he hates them for how they treat me and how much they have hurt me.

What are their names and ages?: This question serves no purpose....

Who has control in this relationship?: We both do....if one person controls...thats not a good marriage.

What does he do that annoys you the most?: He has OCD ...so it's very hard sometimes to deal with his need to have everything a certain way. (ex: "DVDs do not go with X-box games")

Is he a changed man since the marriage?: He grows more amazing everyday.

Are you still friends?: Yes of course. We are best friends. we tell each other everything.

Do you still love each other as much as the day you married?: more

How long do you plan on staying married to this man?:

Are you going to have (more) children?: In 2 years

How Many?: 2!

Their names?:  If it's two boys they will be Robert Francis III and Logan James. If it's two girls they will be Marina Kate and Raina Nicole. If it's one of each it will be Robert and Marina.

Is he going to help change the diapers?: hell yeah!
I don't know about everybody but for me this is a very exciting Thanksgiving. It will be my 3rd Thanksgiving spent with my wonderful husband Rob, but our first as husband and wife. It will also be our first with his whole family. The entire Silver clan (including the newest Mrs. Silver)is getting together tomorrow to celebrate the wonderful holiday. I am very happy. Plus we went bake crazy. I baked a pumpkin pie...and my amazing renowned Butter Pecan Pie. Rob made his now famous pumpkin cheesecake. So now his whole family gets to enjoy our wonderful desserts.
Anyway I just wanted to wish everyone a very very happy Thanksgiving and I hope you all find something you are thankful for.
After almost 4 months of marriage... I finally edited and collected and narrowed down my amount of wedding pics (they were all on cds) from somewhere around 500 to 140. I ordered them through York printing for 10 cents a print. I may use York more for things. They have really great prices. I still need to finish updating my regular photo albums...but one thing at a time. I bought the most exquisite album to use for our wedding album. It is black leather with a pewter picture frame in the front to hold a cover picture. I think I will make one in photoshop with the date of our wedding and whatnot on it. As soon as the wedding pics come in the mail I will finally get to finish our wedding album. About time huh? Eesh I feel like a total slacker bride.
I came home the other day to this message on my computer...it was written by my husband while I was at work.

"I just wanted to write you while I'm sitting here after I just got home from work and I wanted to tell you that I love you more than anything and no matter how many fights we have or how little we get to see each other I will always love you with every bit of my eternity, you mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING to me and I could have never made it this far without you and you complete me and make me the man I am today, I would be lost without you. You can tear out my heart one minute and have it completely on fire for you the next...there is no way I could type, say, or show you how much I love you ... I could just type for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours(Ooops got caught in a loop there for a minute ;-P) and still not have even touched the surface of my full on love for you ... so I'll leave you now with this one little phrase that can say so much I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!"

I love that man soooooo much!
Hi members and friends. This is shaybe the MOD. I was just thinking that we should have some weekly activities to try and drum up participation. So here is this week's.
What are some things that you and your family do together to stay close?
My husband and I curl up on our nights off and watch movies. On Friday's we go and cash our checks together and then we go window shopping around downtown. At least once a month we try to have a nice dinner out on the town.

Hey all-
I was just browing, and found this community-and decided to join.  

Name:  Anne
Age:  29 (till January...I can't believe it!!!)
Marrital Status: Married for just over 3 years to a great man, Jack. 
Kids:  None yet-gotta pay off some grad school loans first!
Views on Family:  Family is so important-they will stick by you in rough times and happy times.  I love my family, even though we're incredibly disfunctional.  I love my in-laws--they're so "normal" compared to my family, and they welcomed me into their lives.  I love my side of the family because we're small and calm and quiet, and I love my husband's side of the family because there's lots of them, and they're loud and there's always something interesting going on.  And all the kiddies are cool too!
Anything else:  A few posts back you asked some very thought provoking questions--I liked that.  I think I'll go answer those questions there. 

I got married 3 weeks ago and I realized that I didn't show you guys any wedding pics. so here they are.
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